Author Topic: Things beside parkour  (Read 2807 times)

Offline Chris Seaton

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Re: Things beside parkour
« Reply #20 on: September 05, 2010, 11:45:12 AM »
When I am not training Parkour I work as a legal aide for an international conglomeration of attorneys known as Wolfram and Hart.  They specialize in corporate acquisitions, criminal defense (especially murder one charges), foreclosures, usury charges, defamation, PR smear campaigns, voodoo rituals, demon summoning, and genetic/viral warfare funding in third world countries. 

I currently train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, wrestling, and Muay Thai kickboxing as other forms of exercise at Team Oxendine Mixed Martial Arts.  Truth be told, I use my time at the MMA gym to scout for new talent that I eventually blackmail or co-opt through less than legal means into participation in my numerous bare-knuckle, no-holds-barred, to the death martial arts tournaments held on my private island.  Perhaps you've heard of them.  They're known as "Mortal Kombat." 

I own my own business.  It's an "acquisitions and venture capitalist" firm called Necessary Evil Enterprises.  We have an information retrieval specialist, a kinetic deterrence expert, an entry and physical object extraction expert, and an actress/social engineer.  Our company helps individuals who cannot seek justice through the legal system due to various problems, and just like a good traceur would, I find creative ways to help these individuals right the wrongs in their lives.

When I get bored, I target specific individuals who I find to be a complete waste of flesh and I devise elaborate "games" filled with lethal traps to test their resolve, strength of character, and survival instinct.  Most of the "rules" are conveyed through a wooden doll I created for my ex-wife years ago that I named "Billy the Puppet." 

In sum, I'm kind of a big deal.  People know me.  I have many fine leather books and my study smells of rich mahogany.

Posts by Mr. Seaton should be interpreted as simply for either informational purposes or his own pure amusement, and are never to be construed as providing legal advice or forming an attorney-client relationship.

Offline Ethan Nicholson

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Re: Things beside parkour
« Reply #21 on: September 05, 2010, 09:27:10 PM »
Nice. That was probably the single most epic thing I have read on this thread. How long did it take you to write all that up?

Offline 20draws10

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Re: Things beside parkour
« Reply #22 on: September 05, 2010, 09:49:04 PM »
well...I am making a suit of samurai armour, that and designing exotic hand to hand weapons...and other various nerdy things that don't really have a purpose.
97% of people say "oh $#%@" when their car slides on ice, the other 3% are from Canada and say, "Hold my beer and watch this!"

Offline Jon E

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Re: Things beside parkour
« Reply #23 on: September 05, 2010, 09:57:31 PM »
I box! hehe i haven't posted in like 3 or 4 months, lots of new faces!
Parkour Park in construction!
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"One becomes two becomes three becomes four
Our sound waves run your city like parkour"

... the only rules in parkour are the Laws of Physics

Offline Chris Seaton

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Re: Things beside parkour
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2010, 01:11:35 AM »
Nice. That was probably the single most epic thing I have read on this thread. How long did it take you to write all that up?

Maybe 2.5-3 minutes?  I'm awesome like that.

Posts by Mr. Seaton should be interpreted as simply for either informational purposes or his own pure amusement, and are never to be construed as providing legal advice or forming an attorney-client relationship.