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Jay's Journal of what not to do (critiques and blatant mockery welcome)

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jay_22_15:
Introduction

Age 26
Height 5'5"
Weight 242

I don't actually do Parkour all the running and jumping would kill me.  It is however something i'd like to do.  I do martial arts, some bicycling and other things.

I gave myself a physical test last week here are the not so great results.

    
B-Day Fitness Test
I've decided to give myself a fitness test, in honor of my 26th birthday. By the way I have two recovering knee injuries, thats why some of my scores totally suck.


Time: 1100
Temp: 40F

There will be 6 categories of fitness that I'll be testing.
Muscle Strength
Muscle Endurance
Agility
Flexibility
Balance
Cardiovascular

Unfortunately I've sustained 2 knee injuries. My left knee is around 85% better but my right knee is around 60%
I suspect I'll fail many events which require too much from my legs.

Here are the results that I suspect I'll achieve.

Flexibility
Side Split:       Results: -15 in
Right Split:      Results: -5 in
Left Split:        Results:  -8in
Sit Reach:       Results:  +4 in
Back Stretch:   Results:  R: -5.5 L: -4.5

Balance
Standing: 1min  Results: L: 1:00  R: 1:00 (could of held for longer but meh, why bother)
Stork: 30sec      Results: L: 0:16  R:  0:17 (oh this is sad, I had much better times when practicing this week)
Bass:                Results: Pass  (i think this is for kids or something, its beyond easy)

Agility
T-Test:               Results 12 sec
3 Cone/L Test      Results: 22sec
Quadrant Jump     Results: 25 times (my knees hurt so so much from these 3 tests)

Muscle Strength:  Turns out my friend only has weigts up to 125 lbs, so I combined the muscle str and end tests.
Bench press goal: 250lb   Results: 125x 25 reps
Squat goal: 500lb           Results: 125x25 reps
Curl goal: 62lb                Results: Pass

Muscle Endurance
Pushups: 100 reps.   Results Canceled
Situps:  100 reps      Results 60 reps (This is by far the most disappointing score)
Squats: 100 Reps     Results Canceled

Cardio
Run 1mile:        Results: 26 min (oww)
Swim 20 laps:   Results: DNF  (Didn't bother to try)

jay_22_15:
Heres my ideal workout schedule:

I try to perform simple martial art drills each morning such as static stances, punches, and kicks.

Monday:
Weights: chest/back  workout taken from Encyclopedia of bodybuilding

Tuesday:
weights: arms  workout taken from Encyclopedia of bodybuilding

Wednesday:
cardio, usually biking

Thursday:
Calisthenics

Friday:
cardio

Saturday:
Yoga or other stretching exercises

Sunday:
Martial arts in the afternoon
more fun in the evening





jay_22_15:
I was only going to update this once a week but I'm a fickle person.

I've been sick since Friday so my diet and sleep schedule have been annihilated.  Weighing myself in the mornings I've lost 8 lbs this weekend.  Yeah that can't be healthy.  Half my lunch and all my dinner stayed down last night so I decided to resume working out today. 

Before you mock me for my lack of weight used I have a few "reasons"
1. I'm not doing this for strength training
2. this is all the weight I have.  I'm too poor for a gym or buy more weights atm.
3. bench with dumbbells is a lot harder...but its still way to light. test your max bench on a machine, a barbell and then dumbbells, see which is hardest.



Bench- 3x15 40lb
Incline- 3x15 40lb
Pullover- 3x12 20lb

Deadlift- 3x12 40lb
bent over lat raise(i do a variation to use more of my back. I do this cuz i don't have a pull-up bar and I find this to be a good alternative)
3x12 15lb

squats- 3x15 40lb
lunges- 3x15 Body weight  (my knee isn't up to adding weight yet)

Calf Raises- I totally forgot to do this exercise today, I did do 75 jumping jacks as part of my warm up though.

straight leg sit ups- normally i do 5x25 but nausea was kicking my ass so i only did 2 sets.


 by the way unless you really want to know I wont post what I do for warm ups and cool downs.


me:  :-[ :-X :-\ :'(

 :-X that to me looks likes hes trying not to puke or something.

The Posey:
Loose weight dood
you have knee problems because your so big
Im 5'6 and weigh 135 lbs
try to get down to like 200 lbs or less
that's a good goal

jay_22_15:
was gonna edit my meal to my last post but since I'll be replying to another message I'll post it here.

The reason I have knee problems is because I injured both of them within the past 8 months.  I have an endomorph body type.  I'll never hit 130 without going anorexic or something.  My natural state is between 160-180lbs  In high school I almost always sat at 164. I was a sexy beast back then.  If I wasn't so poorly endowed I'd totally be a porn star.  But yes obviously being a fat ass is bad on the knees and many other body parts.

Edit: before people ask or assume I'll just say what happened to my knee. 
Approximately 8 months ago I was Sparing and was pretty much at the point of exhaustion.  I threw out a really half assed kick to say "stay away rarr though i'm clearly tired i'm still dangerous".  The guy I was sparing usually backs up any time a kick is thrown his way so I was doing this so he wouldn't engage to give myself a moment more to recoup.  Unfortunately this time he actually came in and did a counter and intercepted my really half assed kick. So basically his and my kinetic energy were transferred back to me and to my standing knee that buckled.  Yeah if I were 40lbs lighter it would have been a much less injury, or none at all.  Regardless of weight had I maintained proper technique I would have been fine. So lessons learned.  I haven't fully tested it but I think my left knee is fully healed now.

My right knee was also injured while sparing.  This injury I blame on the fact that I was sparing while my left knee was still injured and I was taken down by a judo throw.  When I took judo several years and lbs lighter ago I was quick to discover that that art is just begging for knee injuries. Omg almost every side throw can royally f#ck a knee up if done wrong or hostile.  Lesson from this one:  I am dumb -yarp-.  This knee is taking longer than it should to heal so if anyone has suggestions i'll put on lipstick and give great head.  By the way the actual damage to both knees is just pulled muscles, tendons.


You have a good suggestion for me and I thank you.  My problem is I enjoy putting things in my mouth: food, drink, tobacco, and stuff.  My one saving grace in this is (with the exception of some teas) I don't drink caffeinated or sugary items.  I also drink a little under four liters of water a day.

Being sick this past Friday, I had a hard time consuming either food or water.  So now that I'm trying to ease my body out of starvation mode I'll try the "Don't eat so damn much" lifestyle change.  This is a good transition for me to talk about what I ate today.

Breakfast: Two bananas (Wanted to eat more but I woke up late {yay} and had to workout.)

Lunch: peanut butter and honey sandwich on a nice wheat bread.  It tasted like real wheat and not just dyed white bread labled as wheat.

Snack:  yogurt

Dinner:  Chicken salad

I want to eat a little bit more but I learned I have to pace myself or end up puking.  Friday Saturday and Sunday combined I had a burger, a bit of lettuce and puked up most of what was chicken soup.  Fighting dehydration was a fun challenge but I won! Yay!

I know quite a bit about exercise but I consider myself a dunce when it comes to specifically what to eat or what not to eat for health.

For example I have read up on forms of carbs, fats, etc.  But what I do not know is what foods enable me to have an easier time with weight loss and what foods hamper it. 


Thank you again for the suggestion.  90% of the reason I decided to post a journal here is that for whatever reason I get motivated by strangers giving support and/or shit.  Its all good.

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